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My Porn Name

I've heard various versions of this sort of thing, but I figured I'd do it again, just to see if I have a cooler porn name this time around.



The problem with this particular one is that I've had varying levels of "first pets" and the street I live on now has no name. Seriously. In Japan, they think things like FUCKING STREET NAMES are unnecessary and possibly ostentatious.

Eh, I just realized that this was asking for the street name of my FIRST address. Whoops. Not that it makes much difference. I don't remember the names of the streets we lived on in Boston or D.C.--not that they had names better than Slick's, anyway--so I'll just have to go with the first street name I remember, which is "Vosswood."

On to the pet problem. My first pet was a rock Gramps gave me. I took good care of that rock for a few years, then Mom found it fighting for territorial rights with Barbie in my closet and chucked it out the back door. I think I called it "Rock." But I'm not quite sure. (Hey, it's been awhile.)

So my first name could be Rock Vosswood, which would be a great name if this were "What's my WWF name?" but it's not, so let's try again.

My next pet was Petey, or Pete, but we only had him about a week, so I dunno that that counts. Besides, Pete Vosswood sounds like a lounge lizard, and Petey Vosswood sounds like a cheap-o clothes designer.

My first REAL pet--as in we had her for a significant amount of time and she moved voluntarily--was Shadow-Ginger. Shadow-Ginger Vosswood is entertaining, but it's too long. Besides, we didn't name her--a fourth grade class did democratically (half the class wanted Shadow and the other half wanted Ginger).

The first pet I ever had that my family named was Tilly. But Tilly Vosswood sounds like a cheap ho, not a slammin' porn star. I swear, the cards are always against me in the namin' game.

...(and now, for something completely different....)

I've realized that my living in Japan isn't mine alone. I was reading Mia's lj awhile back and I realized that my experience here has become the possession of everyone I know. I'm the "sister who lives in Japan," the "daughter who lives in Japan," the "girl I met once who lives in Japan." On every level, I've become the possession of those who used to be around me. It weird. I think the weirdest part about it, though, is that I didn't notice it before. It just crept up outta nowhere. Like some horrible thing waiting behind the walls and when you peel back the plaster there's a cavern of evil swarming before your eyes....

Eh hem. Sorry 'bout that. I haven't poisoned my carpet since I left for NZ and now I'm starting to "see" those mites again.

Still haven't found that lizard yet. I asked Emiko about it and she said she has them in her garden--they're called "Yamori." (I remembered that because their heads look like ya and they live in mori--not really, but it helped me remember the name.)

Like the ravens fighting around here for territory aren't bad enough, this morning this dumb-ass bird sits on the tree RIGHT OUTSIDE MY BEDROOM WINDOW and starts going, "Woogidie-woogidie-woo-woo!!!" I wanted to fucking THROTTLE that damn bird. I wanted to "Woogidie" his little ass. It was like 5am and I was NOT happy. I couldn't sleep anyway 'cuz I always get restless the night before I have to "start" work or change my schedule. Having to get up earlier than I've been doing recently made my body freak out, afraid I was gonna be late for work. I've been yawning my head off all day 'cuz I went to bed nearly two hours late and woke up two hours early 'cuz of that STUPID BIRD. ::hatesbirds::

Rebekah Capp was actually phobic when it came to birds. She told me once that when she was little, they had this old dog house in back. One day she went near it and a bijillion birds came flying out and it scared the shit out of her. She's been phobic ever since. She can't watch the movie "The Birds"--it's that bad.

I hate birds because they're noisy and they shit on me. I'm a pretty simple person, really: don't shit on me and I won't hate you.

I got shat on by a bird once when I was going down a slide in the backyard of our old house. There was a flicker of shadow and then ::sploopsh:: this shit lands in my hair. IN MY FUCKING HAIR. I figured out what had hit me in the head because it half-splattered on my pants. ::hatesbirdsmore::

It's late. Better get to bed.

Oh, watched part of "The Taming of the Shrew" this morning with Dellming-sensei. The rendition he's found is absolutely hilarious and has the actor in it who played the anti-mutant senator in the X-Men movie, only he's REALLY young in this one. It's bizarre. And he has this obnoxious British accent. It's great.

My two prerequisites in life: bizarre and great. (Oh, and occasionally "in English.")

Btw, post your own Porn Name. I'd like to see what I should start calling everybody.

Laters.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
May. 6th, 2004 09:28 am (UTC)
Hm... well, Sally was the name of the dog we had for the longest time, and the street we lived on for the longest time was Meadowbrook. Sally Meadowbrook ain't bad, is it? I don't know what pets we had before that, because i was too young; 'sides, they were male, I think, and that's not cool. Likewise with the street. Or... I could be Frisbee Kingsbury, from my folks' pet now, and my current street address. That's fun as well.
Ya know what? Sometimes I think of you in Japanese class with Saito-sensei. Namely, the time that we were doing reading, and we were discussing, and you said "fuuuuuushiiiiiiiiigiiiiii," and wiggled your fingers. It sounds bizarre when you type it, but every now and then, i still get the urge to wiggle my fingers out there and say "it's fuuuushiiiigiiiii." And then, Alex stares at me like I'm crazy. :-)
morganlight
May. 6th, 2004 12:18 pm (UTC)
Dude, I filled out an entire SURVEY of those names once...

EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS = Favorite Spice + Last Foreign Vacation Spot: Oregano Mexico
SOCIALITE ALIAS = Silliest Childhood Nickname + Town Where You First Partied: Hob Nob Cincinnati
"FLY GIRL" ALIAS (a la J. Lo) = First Initial + First Two or Three Letters of your last name: H.In
DIVA ALIAS = Something Sweet Within Sight + Any Liquid in Kitchen: Apricot Vodka
GIRL DETECTIVE ALIAS = Favorite Baby Animal + Where You Last Went to School: Duckling Wooster. HAHAHA!
BARFLY ALIAS = Last Snack Food You Ate + Your Favorite Drink: Fritos Cosmo. Wow, that's good.
SOAP OPERA ALIAS = Middle Name + Street Where You First Lived: Catherine Utah.
PORN STAR ALIAS = First Pet's Name + Street You Grew Up On: Furry Whitland.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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