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Oh, well

I was gonna take a nice long, hot bath, when I got a call from Dan. "Gone in 60 Seconds" was on TV, and it was making me dumber by the second-all 60 of them!--so I decided to bite the bullet and head down to Masaya. When I got there, it was just Dan and Sara and they were really drunk--I think they were on drink 7, but somebody was miscounting, so they had to argue for awhile over how drunk they were. It was great.

They also convinced Bone-kun to come down--he's the bassist for Purple Monkey Dishwasher--but he had his car with him, so he stuck to ginger ale. I had three beers and some cabbage with this thick, dark, garlic-sauce that was the specialty of the place (it was good, but I felt like an enormous rabbit, just munchin' on that cabbage like there was no tomorrow). I told Sara to dig into her rabbit-food. Were she sober, she would have been ticked, but as it was, she kept referring to it as rabbit-food.

[Picture I took at the PMD concert, just as they were starting to perform:]

It's hard to tell what's what, but that's Sara in the middle (not that you can see her from the glare), Toshimitsu on the drums, Bone at the bass (on the left) and their now former guitarist, Masaki (on the right).

Dan left around 11pm or so 'cuz he had to teach today--hope he didn't have too much of a hangover this morning.

So Nurse Sara and Bone and I hung out until nearly 2am, which was way later than I had wanted to stay out, especially since I had been at the office nearly 12 hours--check that, I was at the hospital for 3 of those hours--and I was pretty wiped out. Japanese beer is so damn good. The good thing about beer, too, is that it's too heavy to drink too much of, unlike chu-hi or shots or shit like that. The three of us talked about everything. And I learned a new word: tatsumaki (tornado). We talked about how in TN, most people don't have basements--not real ones, anyway--'cuz of flooding, but we have tornadoes, so if one comes, you're fucked. Bone got a kick out of that. I explained my story by pretending to see the tornado out on the street and saying, "Ah, sho ga nee, naa. Tobimaaaaasu!" ("Oh, well, there's nothing I can do about it. I'm flying awaaaaaaay!" more or less.) And I put my arms up like I was getting sucked up into a tornado (most likely a poorly drawn comic tornado, but a tornado nonetheless).

We also astonished Bone with the enormity that is America--the land, not the people, although the people are big. (If we don't watch it, America is going to sink to the bottom of the ocean and Canada will have to start getting its ass into gear.) He was shocked that it took three to four days to cross the damn place. And that getting to Chicago, for instance, from Nashville only costs about $2 in tolls. He said that the toll for a car going from Osaka to Tokyo is about $150. At that rate, you might as well just take the shinkansen 'cuz it would be WAY faster and would cost about the same amount.

I had three huge beers in two hours, and my brain was TRYING SO HARD to convince me that I was drunk, but I was so sober it was depressing. I was relaxed, but not tipsy at all.

Bone drove us home--thank you, Bone!--and Sara nearly fell on me, trying to get up the stairs.

Just remembered: the flowers that Emiko left outside my apartment caused quite a stir at Canaan House. Everybody was all excited, thinking I had a boyfriend [finally]. No. No such luck. And of course Dan and Sara were all excited about me bringing Brett to the party. They asked if he and I had hooked up. Nope. No such luck.

At the party, Brett insisted that I not include him in my age grouping. I had said that the person closest to "our" age was Dong-Jin. And he had freaked out, saying that I wasn't his age. I was like, "Dude, I'm two years older than you. So what?" But he said that I had "crossed over" to the other side. I had graduated and was part of the "real world," so I was "different" from him. That sort of annoyed me. Yeah, he was drunk at the time, but still. Wtf was his problem?

Dan said that it didn't mean anything, but I figured, if he has a problem with it when he's drunk, he probably will when he's sober. I'm just his senpai. Nothing more.

Sigh.

I'm really tired of being single, but as soon as I get interested in somebody, I start to see how things would never work out. It's like I have this inner vision of what the future's going to be. I think part of that is a sort of wishful thinking--I wish I had known what would have happened in my last relationship so I could have avoided that pain. (Of course, the fact that all the bad shit happened during the two times I was changing medications didn't help things much.) I should have gone to the hospital last summer, but in a way, I'm glad I didn't because it would have looked really bad. "So, what did you do the summer before your first job?" "Well, lessee, I nearly tried to kill myself again, and I was hospitalized for severe clinical depression." Not that anybody would ask me that, or that it would ever come up, but still. Had the hospital wanted to keep me too long, I would have been screwed--I already had my plane ticket to Japan.

I'm also too picky to get involved with anybody. I think I'd like to be in a "temporary" relationship. Just something fun to do for now--although if I did, I'd want my free time all to myself, which wouldn't work. I'd like to date somebody in Japan, then end it when I leave to go back to school. Unfortunately, most people don't get in relationships for nothing more than the spur-of-the-year.

I can't believe I've been here 8 months. It went by so fast. It's kind of scary.

Well, gotta get ready. Un-hi is having a Korean food party tonight. Sounds good, but I half don't want to go. I just want to veg here, drawing pictures, listening to music, and bemoaning my fate.

Good thing about today: I FOUND MY THROWING COPPER CD! I thought I had left it back in the States over the summer, but I found it while cleaning out my "electronics" drawer this afternoon. I love that album. ^_^

Gotta go.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
impishlaugh
May. 9th, 2004 04:43 pm (UTC)
...as soon as I get interested in somebody, I start to see how things would never work out. It's like I have this inner vision of what the future's going to be.

It's funny; you are exactly like Matt. When we were first dating, he nearly broke up with me twice because he wasn't sure we were compatible in the long run, and he envisioned all sorts of dismal scenarios in which we would drive each other crazy at some undefined point in the future. I said, "The long run?!? What are you talking about about? We've been dating for a month! You think I want to marry you or something? I want to be your girlfriend, for crying out loud!"

Where are you going for grad school?
alexakaruda
May. 9th, 2004 11:21 pm (UTC)
I'm thinking of possibly going to Ohio State University (Columbus) and studying how to teach Japanese. ('Cuz I have to have a "real" job while I do my art, and if I teach at the university level, I'll get summers off--hopefully--so I can work on my art then.)

Yeah, I think that's how Matt and I became friends in the first place: we each found someone who was just as miserable as we were. (Misery loves company!) ^_^ I think you're a good influence in his life because you're a level-headed ray of sunshine. ^_^ (Hopefully I'll find my own ray of sunshine soon!) ^_^

-A
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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