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King of Hearts

Just watched this corny video for my heart monitor. No man should wear a double-breasted navy-colored blazer unless he's a skipper. Seriously. And I hate how all these videos only ever show men. "I would love to put the electrodes in the right place, and I get the white lead wire, but his boobs are way smaller than mine (okay, that's a lie), and his ribcage is shorter (that's the truth), so I have no idea where the black lead wire is supposed to go." Although, I suppose men have typically been the majority when it comes to heart problems. "Typically" being the operative word. (My own case notwithstanding.)

I was so loopy out-of-it after the seizure on the plane that I was convinced that I was going to die from heart failure. And it kind of freaked me out. I was upset about not getting to make the most of my life, not getting to use all the time allotted. Death-curious-Abby was wigged out about dying. (Nrr??) When nature or circumstance (or booze) reduces you to your basest personality, it is interesting to see what is left. At such times, I have found myself to be extremely easy-going, pleasant, and happy. ::moment of vanity:: I'm ridiculously (as in "shouldn't be") proud of myself for that. Deep down, I'm a good person. Hahahahahaha....

The EEG went well this morning. Went to bed at midnight, got up at 4am (did I write about this already?), watched horror movies until it was time to have breakfast and head out the door. Ju-On was good, although it could have been a LOT better. They showed too much for it to be scary. And things are amazingly less scary when it's 5am and you're eating peppermint ice cream with your mom and baby sis. Beanie said, "It's like a secret slumber party!" Still not quite sure why she wanted to get up before dawn like Mom and I had to, but she stayed with us through breakfast. Which was nice. (And it was incredibly entertaining, watching Mom and Beanie jump periodically throughout the movie while I calmly ate my ice cream.)

The EEG lady put this grainy green goo in my hair (no pink Poltergeist stuff this time) and let me fall asleep naturally (no sedatives, either, thankgoodnessgracious). I nearly blacked out, though, during the 3-minute interval where I had to lie on my back and breathe very rapidly ("like you're running"). And the strobe-light thing made patterns dance behind my eyelids. That was pretty trippy. I had this weird feeling that I could reach beyond the light and into another dimension. Which sounds kooky, but I can't think of a better description. Then I slept for 30 minutes--the lady said I fell asleep instantly, but I could have sworn I didn't sleep at all--while they mapped my brain activity. ("Oh, just lift the damn thing up out of my head and play with it already. Honestly.") My hair is so long and stubborn that it kept dislodging all of the electrodes. The lady had to wrap my head in gauze to keep them still and stable. (Note to self: I hate electrodes. Even the hypo-allergenic ones stuck to my torso right now.)

[When I breathe in through my nose, it sounds like crows cawing in the distance....Damn allergies]

Looks like Beanie's home....Better go....

[Depending on the weather, I might hang with Jaime tonight. I'm feeling so-so, which is better than bad.]

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
liquidrunning
Dec. 22nd, 2004 11:11 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with all of this. I'm very impressed by how brave you are.
alexakaruda
Dec. 23rd, 2004 12:49 am (UTC)
^_^ Thank you. I think the scary factor of all of this has been toned down a lot, thanks to the fact that I've dealt with similar issues before.

It was good getting to see you last night, but I'm sorry you were/are so sick!!! I know it sucks when you desperately want to get better, but your body hasn't gotten the corporate memo. >_< I hope you start feeling better soon!
liquidrunning
Dec. 23rd, 2004 01:49 am (UTC)
It was good to see you, too, but I was so out of it that I was pretty lousy company, and I apologize for that. I hope that YOU start to feel better soon... your body needs to get the corporate memo as well. :)

(Anonymous)
Dec. 23rd, 2004 09:54 am (UTC)
I was sitting here reading out what you've been going through to Matt and suddenly he asked, "She's still coming back right?"

You're coming back, right?

Matt and I just spent that last five minutes discussing how much it would suck if you didn't come back to Japan. You're our 24 buddy, you're our come over and just find yourself a patch of carpet in our messy apartment buddy, you're my last minute, whaddya doin' buddy.

Get better quick and please keep your return ticket safe.

-Kelsye
(Anonymous)
Dec. 26th, 2004 01:06 am (UTC)
Yeah come on back to Japan.
Merry christmas and happy new year! It's been a long time since I've talked to you and I added you to my private bloglines (http://www.bloglines.com). ^_^;

I'm sorry to hear about your health problems. I hope for your continued good health. I keep reminding myself that health is the most important thing. Actually I have a heart condition myself, but lucky for me its not very restrictive.

In any case, I still owe you a tour of Kobe and Osaka's character shops. Give me a email if your up to it.

- Cliff
piyo.stumbleupon.com (http://piyo.stumbleupon.com)
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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