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The Longest Week of My Life

(First things first: I will be in Nashville from around December 18th or 19th until January 4th. It's about 2 and a half weeks, so gimme a call if you wanna hang out.)

Well, so it hasn't actually been the longest week of my life (the longest week was finals, second semester senior year at Wash U with a million exams, papers, projects, and a 50-page senior thesis with a 10-page translation from Japanese to English of a story all in colloquial Wakayama-ben ohholylord), but it's been bad. I've spent the entire week attempting (and finally FINALLY succeeding) at killing the 40 trillion mites in my home. Normally, such mites aren't really visible to the naked eye (called ダニ in Japanese) but mine had eaten so much (dust, I assume, as well as other mites) that they were really honkin' big (the size of small fleas). I mean, so big that I could sea their back hair. How gross is that?

On Tuesday, three people from the 総務課 came to my apartment and they were completely grossed out by all the mites everywhere (I was like, "Yeah, tell me about it") and at first they blamed me for it, and I was like, "Hello, the carpeting in the fucking dump has never been replaced or cleaned since the building was built," and they were like, "Oooh, yeah, good point," and I was like, "Yeah, so fuck you," (but I wasn't, not really, it was more like, "かも知れません") and they bought me a fumigating canister (and then that evening Tsukamoto-sensei and Edagawa-sensei came by and bought me another one since one wouldn't cut it and they brought me this spray called "ダニクリン" that's awesome and I sprayed it on the mattress and the carpet and yelled at the ダニ in Japanese that I was going to kill all of them Mwa-ha-ha-haaa and prepared my apartment for the poisoning the following morning.


So on Wednesday I went and opened the canisters and let them spit out clouds of poison throughout my apartment while I was at work and then I went home and the place was littered with dead bodies BUT MORE ダニ HAD COME OUT AND THEY WERE ALIVE AND WELL, except for the fact that they tended to talk around in circles and some of them even started spinning in place (it was REALLY bizarre) and although I thought at the time that the fumigating stuff hadn't worked, actually, it had, it was just that the REALLY BIG ONES took some time to die, they didn't die off immediately like the little ones did.

They were whirling dervishes of death. YAY!

And I cleaned and cleaned since now everything in my apartment is/was covered in poison and I aired it out forever and ever and I was really distraught on Thursday ('cuz I didn't realize at the time that the buggers were taking their time to die--I thought it hadn't worked) and I told Niwa-sensei who called up Yoneda-san from the 総務課 and she and a guy who wasn't in the previous inspection group came and they looked at all the dying bugs but they were mostly dead by then and they said the place looked much nicer, but that I had to clean again, since there were so many more dead bodies and I've been on my feet for almost a week now (and my feet are actually swollen from so much standing around on them in business shoes) and I just want to sleep but I can't because my bed it covered in poison and I have to wash all my sheets and stuff all over again but it's worth it 'cuz the buggers are ALL DEAD.

Also, on Wednesday night, I moved around all of my furniture. It's much more feng shui now. ^_^ (Ah, the flow of chi....)

I hate Tsu-sensei. He sounds like such a bastard in English.

Today, Nishimuro-sensei said that I looked like some girl from the movie "Footloose." He said it wasn't a bad thing, but it sounded a little sketchy to me. (Dude, I DO NOT have a ponytail on the top of my head! And the big hair isn't my fault!)

During the "One-on-One with Shelton-sensei" thing the other day, one of my kids asked: "So, do you like Japanese men?" soon followed by, "Which do you prefer, American or Japanese men?" It was that stupid Tonai kid. He's still in love with me.

I have an eye infection that probably has resulted from all the poison in my apartment. It's been gradually swelling shut all day. It hurts when I blink hard or push on it. (Of course, normal eyes hurt when you push on them, too....)

During one of my many shopping sprees in a desperate search for something to kill ダニ with this week, I was riding up an escalator and I realized that I have spent so much of my life riding up escalators, and I have the hardest time just standing on them, not walking up or down, because they are such a waste of time and they are evilevilevil and vilevilevile because they suck up your life and waste it all, I swear. It's the little things you notice when big things go awry.

I have so many more things to talk about, but I also have WAAAAAY more work to do so that I don't have to come in on Monday, so I'm going to cut it short here. It's freaking 7pm on a Friday night and I'm at work. Dammit!

I would have written more, earlier this week, but I've been busy killing bugs and having in-home bug inspections and spraying poison and poisoning myself and I hope I don't get locked in 'cuz then I'll have to sneak out throught the bathroom window and that would really suck.

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