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Less than a week to go ::sniffsniff::

I am running out of time here furiously fast and it's the worst feeling in the world.

Life is kinda like a spotlight that sweeps once over certain people at certain times and never crosses them again. I am so completely aware of how short life is and I hate it.

I realized a few weeks ago that I have finally become afraid of dying. I was never afraid before because I thought I had nothing to lose. Now, I realize how much pain it would cause so many people if I were to die and I feel a sense of guilt about it. Like if I died it would be "my bad." I don't want to hurt those I love, but doesn't dying do exactly that?

Played games with Ass, Lellie, Sarah, Emmy, and three new people (cute little high schoolers) last night: Lexie, Sara(h?) and Anna-Laura (AL--did I spell that right?) I played Santa and gave everybody their presents and it was good. We hung out at Emmy's first, then went to Pizza Perfect, and then finally ended up in the lounge in Sarah's dorm at Vandy where we goofed-off until around 12:15am.

Ran into Josh Neighbors and Drew Capdevila at Pizza Perfect last night (it was really weird). I had seen Drew a couple of years ago, and he looks about the same, but Neighbors I haven't seen in forever and HE'S GOTTEN SO OLD! I mean, not OLD old, but definitely older than he was in high school. I had spinach in my teeth from eating Ass's vegan pizza and so I kept my lips down over my teeth while I talked with them which probably made me look strange. I had my hair down and a dorky Chinese New Year tee-shirt on and I probably looked about the same as I did in high school (only chunkier around the middle) and I wanted to be this drop-dead "OMG, is that Abby?" kinda thing but I failed miserably from lack of foresight. Sigh. They both live in Nashville with their parents. Neighbors is in some human resource management position or something and Drew is currently unemployed, although he said he's looking to get a job and get out of his parents' home ASAP. I felt like such a snob, informing them that I'm living alone in Japan and I have a full-time (over-time) job with good pay (and medical benefits). It was weird seeing them again. I still can't get over how much they've aged since I last saw them (especially Neighbors). Everybody's finally growing/grown up.

Gonna go hang out with Jaime tonight at some bar her friend works at (no, I have no idea). And I have two presents for her (yay!). Hmmm....maybe I should go wrap them....

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September 2006
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