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Hitler's Mexi-stache

So I was thinking about Hitler's Mexi-stache this morning while I was getting ready for work and I couldn't figure out why he was the only person in all of Germany to have said dumb mustache. Where did the idea come from? Was it an accident? Was he incapable of growing hair on either side of that little dent above the lip that I forgot the name of about 8 years ago?

Go here for pics of Ayu's aqua-suit and other ads she's been in for Panasonic on TV here lately. I like the tiny "super-slim" digital camera ad with all the slits in her outfit. In the actual commercial, all these zippers come undone and she slips cameras in and out of them. Wicked-weird.

I'm trying to find this scary-as-hell commercial they have here where a (now former?) Morning Musume pulls off her lips and puts on wicked-big ones so she can take a bigger bite out of her McDonald's hamburger, but no luck so far.

Ooh, just found it. Just click on the third commercial to see it. It's SO scary.

(Sloppy paste from an email sent to Zeph)

I've always wanted wings. I used to spend whole afternoons as a child, praying that God would give me either of two things: wings or a unicorn. Mostly I wanted to BE a unicorn, but just being able to ride one worked for me, too. ^_^ Then I got older and started praying that God would let me turn myself into any animal I wished at any time. (I wanted to go to school and when Katherine Petracek--funny, I can't remember how to spell her name anymore--tormented me again, I could turn into a panther and maul her to death. Both lower school and middle school were brutal on me.)

(/sloppy paste)

I became aware at a fairly early age that I was NOT one of the pretty girls (which is interesting 'cuz this girl named Rosie who goes to KCJS now got my attention once by saying, "Hey, pretty blonde girl...") Wow. Total flashback. Jennings Waterhouse and Katherine Petracek. They were the two pretty ones in 1st and 2nd grade. That's when I first became aware that I was different from them. That looking out from my face and being me inside was not enough. To me, everybody was the same, but the grade was already beginning to break into "cool" and "the masses" (although, to me, there always seemed to be more cool people than not-cool). It seemed like a sick cosmic joke that I should be at the bottom of the totem pole. What was wrong with me? I couldn't figure it out. Of course, part of the problem was the beginnings of an early onset of depression, anxiety, and rampant self-loathing.

When I'm depressed, I feel things MORE. It's like I'm wearing a lead suit of NERVES and FEELINGS. I feel more, but it's at a dear price. I can sense/feel/smell/taste/touch/hear/know everything, but I can't SEE anything. Everything gets blown out of proportion. ("If feeling is first....") And I get agitated. And violent. Very violent (directed wholly at self). Although I think about ripping out throats with my bare teeth and bleeding people I hate all over themselves.

When I'm not depressed, I've found that I don't particularly hate anybody. Why hate anyone when I love myself?

Wash U Medical School did a study that found that anti-depressants "fix" the damage in the brain caused by depression. Good to know my "brain damage" has been "fixed." ^_^

I hate people who say that depression is just laziness or people moping around. If I could give every one of them five minutes of the pain, anger, and horror I felt all those years....

It's like many things: it's a lesson that can be learned through experience alone.

There's a Benesse (英語コミュニケーション能力試験) results meeting in five minutes. Sigh. I've been standing since 9:30 this morning. Taught 5 classes (5x45 minutes=forever), have five tomorrow and four on Friday. My legs ache. This has got to be bad for my knees.

Still haven't bought those tickets yet. Am thinking about going to Thailand instead. Can't. Make. Up. Mind....

Must go.

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