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I thought it was over....

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I've found that, for me, the opposite is true: absence makes the heart forget completely.

I discovered two weekends ago that although my heart forgets, it can be quick to remember. By the time Shun-chan left my apartment on Sunday afternoon, I had totally fallen for him all over again. Which is depressing and dumb, since I know I'm a big, ole, American girl who has absolutely no sex appeal for a Japanese guy.

But I'm still really into him.

I wanted to make out with him so badly. I would even have settled for him just holding my hand. Just SOMETHING to tell me that he likes me. Which is obvious he doesn't.

But still....

I haven't dated in four years now. I mean, yeah, the last break up was REALLY UGLY, but not dating in all that time? Something's wrong with me. I think my problem is that I keep waiting for somebody else to make a move. And here I am, in a country where the guys are notorious for never lifting a finger in all their lives. Guys here can't express their feelings (or even opinions) because it's just not culturally done.

I'm waiting for a ship that's never going to come in because it sank waaaaay out at sea about 1220 years ago. (No, Abby's not being cynical today.)

Would write more but I can't think of anything de/constructive to say and they're going to lock the school up soon.

Last minute note to self: we had Fukuda-sensei's good-bye party today. She gave the coolest "suck-on-this-you-evil-bastards" speech I've ever heard. She totally flung it in the faces of the people firing her.

I wanna give that speech when I have to leave (can't wait!)

Definite cool-points for Fukuda-sensei.


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Mar. 16th, 2004 10:52 pm (UTC)
ken got an internship doing movie something in japan over the summer... dont' know the details yet. Aw come on how could he not want you?
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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