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Everything changes...

The whole atmosphere of the school is different. The students greet me when they see me. Many even offer a "Hello" in the place of the usual "こんにっちゃす." And it's not just the students I've had before--even the new kids greet me in the halls. It's awesome. It's like I'm a real teacher.

(Ew, I can't believe I just wrote that.)

Got up this morning, pulled off my PJ shirt and was stunned to find that the outline of my four-pack is coming back, baby! I can just BARELY see it (okay, that was a bit of an exaggeration), but it's there! And the top two are pretty big (again, under all that jelly).

Looked at myself in the mirror yesterday and I was like, "When the fuck did I get this fat?!" Which is sad, because I'm thinner now than I was last summer. I think it's mostly that I just remember how I moved and felt and looked in high school and sort of failed to realize that high school was 5 years ago. I guess I've been so focused on my insides that I totally let my outsides go to pot (which is strange in some ways because now I wear make-up and actually fix my hair in the morning and occasionally wear perfume and pick out nice outfits with shoes that sorta match--well, okay, so having a million pairs of black shoes and a million black outfits doesn't REALLY count as "matching," but still). I think this is all a result of teaching at a high school.

I want my old bod back.

I'm surrounded by all these ripped kids and I want to be just as ripped, if not more so. I told Carolyn my four-pack was coming back and she responded with, "Uh, wow, I've NEVER, I mean NEVER EVER had anything even CLOSE to a six-pack or a four-pack or anything."

I think I may have creeped her out.

Now I sort of get why Zaf was such a freak.

Ooh! I just remembered something I was thinking just before getting ready for bed last night: the last thing out of Pandora's box wasn't hope, it was a sense of humor. Maybe it's just that the Greeks couldn't tell the difference between humor and hope (just go with me on this one), so they misnamed the little creature with a mic who popped out and started delivering a monologue to poor Pandora. I mean, what better way to forget your worries (lessee, you have a wicked-weird husband who gives you an evil, cursed box for no reason and tries tempting you because he has nothing better to do and you have nothing better to do either so you open it and unleash hell upon the earth) than by enjoying a quick stand-up comedy routine?

Hm? Hmmmm? (Gah, can you tell I've been reading Sinfest again?)

Okay, moving on, a quote from ("Oh, no, not again! It's yet ANOTHER quote from:") "Of Human Bondage." And this one's long. And not-so-lean. (These are mostly for me, anyway, so you can skip over them if you want.)

"I'm going to church, Athelny," she said. "There's nothing you'll be wanting, is there?"
"Only your prayers, my Betty."
"They won't do you much good, you're too far gone for that," she smiled. Then, turning to Philip, she drawled: "I can't get him to go to church. He's no better than an atheist."
"Doesn't she look like Rubens' second wife?" cried Athelny. "Wouldn't she look splendid in a seventeenth-century costume? That's the sort of wife to marry, my boy. Look at her."
"I believe you'd talk the hind leg off a donkey, Athelny," she answered calmly.
She succeeded in buttoning her gloves, but before she went she turned to Philip with a kindly, slightly embarrassed smile.
"You'll stay to tea, won't you? Athelny likes someone to talk to, and it's not often he gets anybody who's clever enough."
"Of course he'll stay to tea," said Athelny. Then when his wife had gone: "I make a point of the children going to Sunday school, and I like Betty to go to church. I think women ought to be religious. I don't believe myself, but I like women and children to."
Philip, straight-laced in matters of truth, was a little shocked by this airy attitude.
"But how can you look on while your children are being taught things which you don't think are true?"
"If they're beautiful I don't much mind if they're not true. It's asking a great deal that things should appeal to your reason as well as to your sense of the aesthetic. I wanted Betty to become a Roman Catholic, I should have like to see her converted in a crown of paper flowers, but she's hopelessly Protestant. Besides, religion is a matter of temperament; you will believe anything if you have the religious turn of mind, and if you haven't it doesn't matter what beliefs were instilled into you, you will grow out of them. Perhaps religion is the best school of morality. It is like one of those drugs you gentlemen use in medicine which carries another in solution: it is of no efficacy in itself, but enables the other to be absorbed. You take your morality because it is combined with religion; you lose the religion and the morality stays behind. A man is more likely to be a good man if he has learned goodnes through the love of God than through a perusal of Herbert Spencer."
This was contrary to all Philip's ideas. He still looked upon Christianity as a degrading bondage that must be cast away at any cost; it was connected subconsciously in his mind with the dreary services in the cathedral at Tercanbury, and the long hours of boredom in the cold church at Blackstable; and the morality of which Athelny spoke was to him no more than a part of the religion which a halting intelligence preserved, when it had laid aside the beliefs which alone made it reasonable.

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