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I hate not being prepared for stuff. It makes me feel awful. (And it's always worse here in Japan because there are WAYS in which things are done and if you don't do them in the RIGHT WAY everybody hates you and gossips about you behind your back and things are generally miserable.) One good thing about Americans is that they'll always tell you how they feel. And meetings have a point. And you get to go home when you finish (so long as your shift is up). Here, people stick/dick around and do nothing so that they're not the first person to go home. It's like going home at a reasonable time is wrong or something. Happily, they hired this new girl (she's Japanese), and she always leaves WAY early, as soon as she finishes her work, so I now feel justified, leaving when I'm done. Before, I'd always just stick around because if you do ANYTHING here, everybody pulls the old "Damn foreigners" thing. I am so sick of being judged differently from other people. I'm so sick of being judged. And even when I do things that other Japanese people do, if ONE PERSON sees me doing whatever and it's something that THEY wouldn't do, they automatically correct me and say, "WE Japanese would NEVER do something like that." I just want to tell people like that (most of the population) to eat it sometimes.

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September 2006
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