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I'm not getting paid enough to be here....

They seriously need to pay me WAY more than they are. It's not worth it for the pain I'm going through. My voice keeps cracking (from too much lecturing) and my feet are so sore that I'm sitting here with my legs resting on the blades of my feet (appropriate term).

Just remembered a professor I had during my senior year of college. He really was a nutty professor. He was so absent-minded, it was amazing. I had to take a physics class (I've always hated physics) to graduate (with a BA in JAPANESE--no, there's no connection). It was taught by three complete geeks (I can't remember their names now, but I do remember that their names TOTALLY fit with the super-nerd-scientist-gone-mad theme). So the craziest one was teaching a class on some physics-related topic that I have LONG since forgotten (it was about a year ago--yeah, physics meant that much to me). Suddenly, he starts turning in place, slightly bent over. Then he starts turning faster. Then he goes over to the door out of the classroom, opens it, and peers up and down the hallway. At this point, the class is completely mystified. Then he starts leaning in toward the students in the front row and says, "Do you hear that? Can you hear that noise?" Everybody laughs and he asks us all to be REALLY quiet. So we do, and he starts to squat down. Then he spins again a couple of times, pats his pockets, and pulls a small voice recorder out of his pocket. Then he makes out a smooth, "I thought I was losing my mind! There were voices coming out of my butt!" Turns out that he had accidentally bumped the play button on the thing while it was in his pocket. So, suddenly, he had started hearing voices coming from his butt (but he couldn't tell where they were coming from). By that point, he had TOTALLY lost the class. He couldn't get us back to work because everybody was having too good a time laughing at his antics. It was one of the fucking funniest things I've ever seen.

Another time, he was trying to demonstrate something about thermodynamics and he had a bunsen burner on the table at the front of the room. He turned on the gas, lit a match, and the match went out. That man went through more matches trying to light that damn bunsen burner than I thought was possible. Suddenly (as in after 10 minutes--no joke) he gets the thing lit and breathes a sigh of relief, which promptly blows the thing out again. It was like a weird comedy routine. We were laughing so hard that it was painful. Then he finally gets the thing lit and says, "I can't believe it took that long to light. And I even practiced lighting it all last period!" The class was gone. (I loved it when he taught, because chances were good that we wouldn't have to LEARN anything that day.)

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September 2006
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