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I'm dying

My throat is on fire again. It's like it was the first night, except that now I have a hole somewhere in my sinuses from the missing tissue I blew out of my nose the other day.

(I'm still creeped out by that.)

I'm beginning to wonder if this isn't strep. Which would be REALLY bad, since I don't know how they handle strep in Japan. Strep can kill you, or even just really fuck up your brain, if you leave it alone. I would assume that they give out antibiotics here, but I dunno for sure. And I'm worried that my body may be used to American antibiotics, which can kill anything. What if they don't give me a dose that's big/strong enough? What if I die/lose my brain anyway?

I guess if I'm still dying after Golden Week, I'll go to the hospital. The thing is, though, that I don't know exactly where I should go. I don't have a general practitioner here I see on a [regular] basis. The only doctor I visit here is my [new] shrink.

I am so fucking ill.

And there's not much I can do about it.

And there's a hole somewhere inside my head, behind my face.


On a lighter note, I started filling out my tax forms today! (Still have another month and a half until they're due.) Not that I'll have to pay anything anyway, but still. So many forms to fill out, explaining where I am and why I'm here and what I'm doing and how much money the Japanese are giving me. (Although I get to deduct moving expenses, and considering that the going rate is 12 cents per mile....if I actually had to pay anything, I'd be so excited about having moved 9000 miles away.)

I also [nearly] finished my research money forms. (I forgot that you have to put everything in fucking chronological order, so I have to rewrite the whole damn thing again. Stupid Japanese and their stupid OCD.)

I want to play with power tools. I commented on Jaime's journal about power tools and that got me thinking about them and I want to go and drill industrial-sized holes in pieces of wood. (Like I said to Jaime: the drill-press was my BABY.)


And though I hate doing 3-D art, I did enjoy making that weird box-thingy with the hollowed face on top and the four rooms inside. That was pretty cool (and I got to douse the entire 3-D workroom in about half an inch of styrofoam snow--which was fun, but was a bitch to clean up).

I hate clay. I have always hated clay. It gets under my nails and gives me the willies. Ew. Yuck.


Just bought a ticket off Sara. Her band "Purple Monkey Dishwasher" is headlining tomorrow night at some place called Site Kobe. This is only their second gig. Pretty good, especially for Kobe (which, while not Osaka or Tokyo, is still pretty big). If they were in Nanba, of course, then I'd be impressed. I was going to go to their first performance, but it was at 5:30pm on a Friday. I was in the middle of a meeting, which sucked. I was going to buy a ticket anyway, just to support the band, but I ended up not having the balls to ask her for one. It's one of those "Yeah she's nice to me and she's friendly and stuff but she's obviously in a totally different league than I am and I feel like such a child when I'm around her and her friends (except for Toshimitsu, ironically)" kinds of things. Yeah, she'll be 30 this year, but she doesn't LOOK it, and she acts so super-cool. Not snotty-cool, but "There's a coolness inside me you'll never achieve" cool. I want to be included in the things she does, but at the same time, being around her makes me feel like shit.

I'm sure anybody who's human has known somebody like that. After finishing high school, I figured I'd finished with all of that. It appears that there simply wasn't anybody like that in college. Back out in the "real" world, however, there are still people like that.

Dunno where that came from.

Eck, I have granola in my teeth, my throat's still burning, it's 10 o'clock at night, and I think I'm going to brush my teeth, take out my contacts, take a shower, and go to bed before 11. Or so.

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