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Boys, Boys, Boys

I didn't get around to writing about the Junior High English Camp before now because, frankly, I was too busy either 1) working or 2) recovering. I worked all weekend after a full week of work (actually, we got the Thursday before the camp off--national holiday, thank goodness) and I'm still tired from it. We got this Tuesday off, too, which certainly helped, but working through your entire weekend does something to you psychologically, I think. The Japanese, of course, have no psyche, so it doesn't bother them, but it eats at me. I've been in a *horrible* funk all week, and I attribute it to working through the weekend (mainly because it's nowhere near that time of the month and I have no other excuse for feeling so rotten). I've been absolutely *pissy* with Tsu all week, but the bastard deserves it, so it's all good.

[I really could use some chocolate right now....]

The camp started sometime early on Saturday morning, but 1) I couldn't read the schedule, 2) I overslept, and 3) a package with my internet setup stuff came and I had to sign for it and deal with the mail guy although I was wearing nothing but a bathrobe. So I was late. I'd say I was exactly an hour late, but I could be off by a few minutes. I don't know that I've ever been on time for anything in my life. I think of myself as being responsible and dependable and I'm finally starting to realize that although I feel bad when I don't do things right, that doesn't make me a good person. I also learned (thanks to dating Zeph), that I have a skewed perspective on time. If it's 9:45am, I have to be somewhere by 10am, and my destination is 20 minutes away, I'm not late until the clock says 10:01am. I'm not late until it's past when I'm supposed to be somewhere and I'm not there. Only then am I late. Zeph and I would argue because it'd be 7pm and we were booking it to a 7:20 show, and he'd be in a panic, but I wouldn't because we weren't late *yet*. When the clock ticked 7:21 and we still hadn't gotten there, I'd admit that we were late, but it wasn't worth getting upset about because we were already late and it didn't matter anymore. (But sometimes I do think I'm a little *too* relaxed when it comes to time.)

Anyway, everybody pointed out to me that I was late (like I hadn't noticed). Sigh. Well, it was my own fault, although I am glad I was home when the postal dude came by, otherwise it would have been a total pill trying to get that stuff. So, see, some good *did* come from being late.

I noticed that a lot of the counselors were kids who had been in my 3rd-Year Elective Class last year. Arita, Hayashi, etc. Even Kei Minami was there. And I was paired with one of my old students, Fritz Kuribayashi. Having him call me by my first name (even though he added 先生 to it) was weird. Shinya was there, too, as was George Muller. (George was the guy who challenged me to a game of Mario Kart Double Dash at a party at Dan's last year. ::swoon::)

I won't go into much detail over all that happened at the camp because it's really not that interesting, and I'm in a funk and don't want to write that much. But I will go over the highlights.

1) I caught Shinya stuffing his mouth full of seaweed in some sort of competition with the kids in his group. It was priceless and he nearly choked when he saw me laughing at him. ^_^ (I think I totally fucked up my chances with Shinya and I could kick myself because he's really cute and I like him a lot a lot a lot but stupid Kara made me notice Bon-kun--I didn't notice him until she mentioned that she thought he liked me. I had been interested in Shinya until then, but I hadn't seen him in a long time, so I figured that was out. Dammit!) I sort of wonder if he wasn't avoiding me during the camp, but it could just be that he was busy.

2) I absolutely flirted my *heart* out with George (our cabins were teamed up for the evening activity on Saturday). I realized that I haven't flirted in...at least a year. Seriously. I've just been so busy with school or work or whatever, I've been too stressed, to flirt. And I just haven't had the opportunity. And he actually flirted back, which was wonderful. I doubt he's interested in me (he's one of the most beautiful boys I've ever seen in my life--he's half-German, half-Japanese), and he probably has a girlfriend (he's too pretty and nice and charming to not have a girlfriend), and we all know how I feel about myself (eh, not worth fighting for, that's for sure), but it felt *really good* to be able to just flirt with *somebody* and actually have them flirt back. And the fact that the prettiest boy in the world flirted with me made me feel good about myself. I'm not a total turd-cake. Pretty boy flirts back means either 1) he's blind, 2) he has terrible taste in girls, or 3) I'm not as gross as I think I am. Maybe I'm worth flirting with. Maybe somebody has seen me and thought, "She's the prettiest girl in the world." (Okay, so nobody thinks that, but still....) He pointed to one kid from his cabin and said, "See that kid, the really sweaty one? Yeah, he's one of mine." And I said, "Well, I don't blame him for being sweaty. It's so hot in this room, I'm starting to sweat a little." How did George reply? I'll tell you how: "Well, maybe you should take off--" I turned to him and said, "What was that?" "No, no, nothing!" "What? Tell me." "Hahaha, no!" ^_^ ::swoon:: It felt so good to flirt, I can't tell you.

3) Kelsye and I had alone time in the woods and she spilled about all these things that have been bothering her lately while she painted in a notebook and now her blog makes so much more sense to me. I was going to draw, but I didn't get around to it.

4) There was something a kid said to me at one point that was priceless, but I can't for the life of me remember what it was now. Sigh. Such is my life. My memory's getting to the point where it's almost scary what I can't remember. I was hanging with Ashley and her friend Michelle earlier this year and Ashley said, "Oh, tell Michelle about the student with the hard-on," and I had no idea what she was talking about. The more I thought about it, the more the original story started to come back to me, but I still just have a brief memory of it. What's the matter with me? I don't tell jokes because I get about halfway through them and suddenly I can't remember the rest.

So, yeah, those are the most memorable parts of the camp. Our bus got back to Nishi-Kita at 3:15pm or so, and I shopped around at ACTA for a while (and thank goodness I did, because the latest issue of Gunnm: Last Order was out and ohholylord I'm a happy camper thanks to that). Got home at exactly 4pm and tried desperately to pretend like I hadn't been working all day. Failure.

Well, it's a Saturday and I'm at work and I'm going to be at work for a loooooong while, so I'd better start doing something useful so I can leave early on Monday.

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