Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

While Masa deals with a student in tears in the other room. I didn't really catch much of it, but it sounds like yet another kid wants out of the Glee Club.

I was looking at the sky today--like I do every day--and I realized how much I love turbulent weather. If it's not in motion, if there isn't harsh contrast between black clouds and blinding light, I'm not interested. My eyes hunger for the heavens. It's very similar to feeding an addiction, looking up as often as I do. [Something white just streaked across the clouds--wonder what it was....]

I also remembered today that I hate Jello. I like the "zeri" ("jelly" or "gelatin") desserts they have here, but Jello looks like nuclear waste--those horrid artificial bright colors--and it doesn't taste like anything. Ever notice how every flavor of Jello tastes the same?

And I don't like cookies. I'll eat them, but I find them to be really disappointing as far as sweets go. They're like little half-assed attempts at making cake. I hate cookies. I thought the Cookie Monster was funny when I was little, and I loved watching all those cookies get destroyed--crumbs flying about the screen never actually getting in his mouth--but I never understood his obsession.

I'd rather have ice cream.

I'd like spring, if I knew there was cold weather waiting for me on the other end. Which is precisely why I like autumn better.

[The sky is phenomenal right now. An expanse of bleak gray cleft by light I may very well hurt my eyes on.]

My doctor added a stimulant to my vast list of current drugs. (Isn't that how Elvis died? Drugs to counteract drugs to counteract drugs....) It worked miraculously for A DAY and then I have been more or less back to normal, although I'm less apt to curl up and sleep now. It's really amazing how my body is so resistant to kinesis. I am wholly an Observer, although to what purpose, I truly do not know.

[The light is moving so quickly, tearing through the endless misery. It's fascinating to watch....]

That One Day was good, though, because I got to be my "old" self again. I wasn't hungry, which was nice. (Remeron keeps me from producing the chemical that tells you you're full, which is pretty horrible, actually, since that means I constantly feel like I haven't eaten for weeks.) The "normal" me doesn't eat much, really. I eat when I'm hungry, but I've never been one for snacking. (I think that upsets Mom a lot, that I didn't get the "eating" gene from her.) I don't really enjoy eating that much. I like food that tastes good, and I can enjoy the flavor, but I dislike eating for eating's sake. It doesn't interest me. Which is why the side-effect from the Remeron has made me so unhappy. The constant need to feed, the obsession over food, eating for the sensation, eating to feel full--I hate all of it. I guess it's good, though, because now I can sort of sympathize with all the people who naturally have that tendency. I still have to deal with the hunger problem, but it's much more manageable now, thanks to the new drug. And occasionally, I find myself full after eating. Which is delightful.

[The light is making the dust on the window glow, and the droplets of water on it sparkle....]

Shinya and I have a date on Friday night, after my entrance exam meeting is over. We're going out for Mexican food (eep!!!), and he promised to show me the pictures he took in Botswana. For our last date, he brought his old yearbook from when he was studying abroad in Wisconsin (he was so in the sticks--the yearbook was riddled with pictures of students riding tractors), which was fun to look at.

Mexican food is one of the things I miss most about the States. Fajitas, here I come!!!

Saturday will be wasted listening to recitations of Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have A Dream" speech. Jessi's one of the judges, so she and I are planning to have a night on the town (Kobe, to be specific), after the contest and reception and crap are over. She lives in Kobe, so hopefully she can show me some place new. (Although I'm dying to take MC to that "New Style Japanese Fooding Bar" that Shinya and I randomly went to in December. It's hyper-bizarre.)

Looks like the kid has stopped crying. Better get back to the grind.

(I promise: one of these days, I'm going to write a real entry.)


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 26th, 2005 11:21 am (UTC)
wow... several days worth of random thoughts condensed into one entry

Jan. 26th, 2005 07:04 pm (UTC)
Hahaha! Thanks, but that entry is only a couple hours' worth of random thoughts. I had a bijillion entries I was working on, but I've been to busy to finish/post them.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

Latest Month

September 2006

Page Summary

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Tiffany Chow