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Preface

The leaves are dancing under the barrage of raindrops beyond my balcony. There's a distant ambulance siren drifting in waves through the water in the air. The air is cool enough to be comfortable and wet enough to be bothersome. It's perfect. Tori and I are singing in spite of my sore throat and the distance. Yesterday's dinner has been trying to start a fight all day. I'm wearing a pajama shirt and panties. My hair got long last week and curly this weekend, and now it's all around me. Draped over my arms, across my shoulders, down my back. Humidity is aiding the fuzzies' fight against gravity. I'm going to clean off my tablet and draw something lovely. In another minute....

-----

I'm going to post that odd entry I talked about awhile back. The self-pitying one. It wasn't meant to be that way, and it still isn't, but it just sounded whiny to me, and I hate the thought of being whiny. But I've half-read over it so many times by this point that it doesn't mean anything to me anymore. My eyes pass over the words but I don't see them and I can't pull any meaning from them. So I might as well put it up and get it off my screen.

(Warning: it's unedited and incomplete.)

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
_paquette_
May. 1st, 2005 08:51 am (UTC)
i think you are a lovely person...you're such an inspiration.
alexakaruda
May. 6th, 2005 03:45 am (UTC)
::blush:: Dunno what sparked that comment, but thank you!!! ^_^ It's immensely gratifying to hear someone say you are what you've always secretly hoped to be.

And now, on to something completely different: I always want to comment on your lj, but you've disabled comments!!! >_< Can I ask why? (If I can't ask, I respect that.) I was gonna ask why you used a chalkboard as a metaphor in that poem you posted recently. Was it a matter of visualization, or was there hidden meaning in it?
_paquette_
May. 6th, 2005 05:38 am (UTC)
I made that comment b/c i am a friend of sarah's and know what you've came through. I have also read the comments you leave and they are always very honest, caring and wise.

I just recently reallowed comments :)

As far as the chalkboard it was more of a visualization from childhood. I loved getting to wash the chalk off...making everything dissappear. Well, ummmmm, i'm sure you could understand the rest. (It was a poor metaphor but it's all that came to mind.)

Btw: I'm sorry that I prob took up like 2 friend's pages last night....every week I just write in a notebook then put some in the journal.
alexakaruda
May. 7th, 2005 11:54 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you think so. Sometimes I feel like I'm just hopping around on a cheap soap box.

Yay! Now I can comment!

Thanks for the interpretation. I was just curious if you had some weird experience with chalkboards in the past or something. ^_^;;

Don't worry about taking up space on lj! I have other friends who right far more (and I'm not even going to talk about all the crap I write). ^_^

To be honest, I think your poems are absolutely inspired. I used to be wild about poetry--reading it, writing it, drinking it up--but I fell out of love with it a long time ago. So many people write so much bad poetry, and once you've read enough, well, you've read enough. So when I saw that you wrote poems, I have to admit that I was a little bummed at first. Then I started actually reading them and they're beautiful. Not only can I tell exactly what you're saying, you have a wonderfully off-beat way of looking at things. That recent one about you being like your mother was fabulous. And the way you twist and bend words to fit your will is delicious. Keep writing and keep posting what you write!!!
_paquette_
May. 8th, 2005 05:54 am (UTC)
thank yoiu so much. Will you tell me if i post crap though? I mean really, please do. (Even though I don't know if you can call it poetry:)

I'd love to read any thing you have.
alexakaruda
May. 8th, 2005 04:00 pm (UTC)
I'll definitely do that. But I'll be kind. ^_^
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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