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Back in the Kingdom of Sandwiches

My 11.5-hour flight was blissfully short because I ended up sleeping--albeit restlessly--for about 7 hours. I awoke to the grating sound of a female flight attendant screaming in a rough New England accent, "Omelette or pasta?! Omelette or pasta?!" For a moment, I thought I had died and something in the afterlife had gone very, very wrong. Turned out, instead, to be breakfast.

I walked through the Chicago O'Hare airport, and I was struck by all the sandwich options. I nearly drooled on myself as my mouth remembered the delight of anything other than veggies-mayo-whitebread-nocrusts. (It's the only sandwich the Japanese know how to make. Under extreme duress, they have been known to throw in ham, eggs, cheese, and sometimes tonkatsu). I saw different kinds of bread, and none of them were Bunny. I saw different "toppings". I saw sandwiches WITHOUT MAYO. It was all I could do to keep from "eeping" with joy and scaring the people around me.

Getting off the plane was like having instant weight loss. In Japan, I'm considered to be a large girl. My bones actually have meat on them, and some fat, and that means I'm overweight. I'm not obese in Japan, but I am overweight. In the airport, I felt small and skinny. Suddenly, the five lbs I put on in the past two weeks didn't seem so bad. I stopped feeling self-conscious. I went to the bathroom to wash my face and put on some makeup so I wouldn't be a total goblin when seeing my parents at the end of the next flight, but suddenly I felt weird about wearing it. Nobody else had makeup on. I saw my pretty eyes and my pink cheeks and mostly-clear skin and suddenly I didn't need a layer of eyeliner to look good.

And then I realized just how much I buy into my environment, into other people's standards. I had no emotional or mental response to the fact, but it was an interesting thing to discover. I think the way I feel about myself is mostly dependant on internal factors, but I do compare myself to those around me. I always have. It's like the story of the ugly duckling--had the baby swan been around other baby swans, he probably wouldn't have felt so bad. Around baby ducks, however, he looked large and awkward. Back around my own kind, I seem to be doing pretty well, in comparison. I'm at a healthy weight, I take better care of myself than I ever have before, and I dress well. I look good, shockingly. I'm not perfect, of course, and I'm not completely satisfied with the package, naturally, but that's because I'm still in the process. I did come to understand, however, that I'm further along than I thought I was. And that's a good thing to know.


On a completely unrelated note, now that I'm back in the land of the fat--I only say that because I like the ring of it (it sounds like a nursery rhyme)--let's all get together!!!

Nimdawg and I want to get people together tomorrow (Thursday) evening/night to do something. Any ideas? Times? Places? Interest? You can call my parents' house, or call Nimish. Either way. If you can't make it, don't worry--although Nimish is leaving us on Saturday morning, I'll be here until the first weekend in September.

(Neeeeeeed to do karaokeeeeeeeeee!!!) I've been singing along to the radio in the car in a poor attempt to feed the addiction. Anybody up for doing karaoke this weekend?


( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 17th, 2005 03:15 pm (UTC)
welcome home dear.
Aug. 17th, 2005 03:19 pm (UTC)
Thank you! (And I love your new icon. ::orgasms:: )
Aug. 17th, 2005 04:13 pm (UTC)
i know...i feel in love w/ this pic nd had to share.
Aug. 17th, 2005 03:20 pm (UTC)
Glad that you made it back safely, and also glad that you're feeling so good about yourself. I'd love to get together! I work til 7 tomorrow, but I'd be up for anything after that. I was just thinking that it would be fun to have some people over for dinner and board games at my place, so we could do that if you'd like. My phone number's 568-9616 if you want to let me know what's up, or I'll just hear from Nimish, b/c I'll be calling him and bothering him every day until he leaves. :)
Aug. 17th, 2005 09:55 pm (UTC)
YAY You're back!!! aesthetic culture shock sounds distressing.

I maybe can't make tomorrow night because i have a 6-9 class. but let me know if its later than that, i want to see you ASAP! before i forget let me tell you that my artist group thing is having an opening next saturday night at the Frothy Monkey coffeehouse on 12th ave S from 7-11, i'll have 3 or 4 things and there will be free sandwiches and wine.
Aug. 20th, 2005 09:57 am (UTC)
Do you think there'll be parking nearby (or at least enough parking in the coffeehouse lot)?

The opening is today, right? I don't really need the sammies or the wine, but I'm really psyched about seeing your art. ^_^ And you, of course. I'll try to stop by early so I can head out early. (I hate going to art shows early because nobody's ever there, but at least I'll be able to actually see you and talk to you, which is harder to do the later it gets.)
Aug. 17th, 2005 10:34 pm (UTC)
Yay! I am up for karaoke, BUT (ha-ha, there is always this "but" thing) i am pretty much thousands of miles away. Boo-hooo. We don't get any good, fulfilling karaoke sessions here in Moscow.

*in-a-extremly-manly-axel-rose-scream* Take me to the paradiiiise city, where grass is green and the girls are pretty. Ooooh take me theeeeeeereeeeeeeeeee!
Aug. 20th, 2005 09:59 am (UTC)
>_< It would have been nice to meet you and get to know you through karaoke. Have you ever made it to Japan? Living there was awesome (okay, it often sucked as well, but it had some really awesome points, too). I'm surprised they don't have more karaoke in Moscow. Maybe Russians aren't gluttons for punishment the way Americans are. ^_~

(Now I have that song in my head....)
Aug. 20th, 2005 02:34 pm (UTC)
Karaokes in Moscow have only russian pop-trash-music. It's way more hideous than country music and twice as painful to listen to when performed by amateurs.

Aug. 18th, 2005 09:53 am (UTC)
Maybe. I'm running around like crazy trying to get ready to leave, but I would love to see you. Call me? Email me? Let me know what's going on.
Aug. 20th, 2005 09:59 am (UTC)
When do you leave?!?!?!?! I want to see you AT LEAST once before you go.... ;_;
Aug. 18th, 2005 10:38 am (UTC)
There's always Ken's near Great Escape. I can pull together a wacky crowd if we want to hit it. Always rockin'.
Aug. 20th, 2005 10:07 am (UTC)
That's the only place I've been to. They have the same Japanese karaoke system I used back in Japan, so I can sing Japanese songs there, which makes me happy. ^_^
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )